I've been wondering lately about the ways that people can enter your life, what they do when they are knocking around in there, and how they leave it.

There are probably people out there you've had a lifelong experience with who is pretty much forgettable.  Maybe they are boring, maybe they bug you.  Maybe they're an employee at your parent's business, or maybe they are a faraway relative who sends you a card once a year.  I doubt you'd ever tell them that they are disposable, but once they are out of your life you don't even notice.

Then there are the people who, in the grand scheme of things, are just a blip on the radar of your life, but completely unforgettable.  Before I even hit kindergarten I was taking dance lessons, and I remember one assistant teacher, who was there maybe three times.  Her name was Miss Pepper and she had gorgeous, long, long hair down to her bum.  Because of this mane she was our "dragon" and we followed behind her in our Dragon Dance.  Thirty years later, I still can't believe I remember what she looks like.

I remember a little boy who used to take the Valentines I sent him and cram them under his pillow so he could sleep with them every night.  He's much older now, probably dating, getting zits, driving a car.  Does he remember me?

I remember a woman who came into the store I was managing, and giving her a hug as she cried over the news that her daughter was just diagnosed with epilepsy.  Does she remember how I held her up?  Probably not, she barely seemed to know I was even there at the time.  Would Stewart Copeland remember me as a crazed flag waver if I introduced myself to him as one?  Even though we made eye contact and pointed at each other, hundreds of concerts, too many redheads, and so many flashes of green... I doubt it.  Yet here I am, remembering all of this right now.

What about the folks that helped me down out of my seat when I flipped out with vertigo at the Elton John/Billy Joel concert?  I suppose they don't know I remember them and yet I'm still thankful for what they did. 

So many ways that we can affect people, so many small ways, and we don't even know it.   It's almost frightening to think that we might have to be on our best behaviour all the time, just in case.  I guess it's our own memories, though, that we really should be worrying about, and not trying to guess when we'll be in someone else's.

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In honor of Canada Day, show us your favorite Canadian.

For crying out loud, spell it FAVOURITE if you are going to use the word to refer to Canadians. 

Anyway...

My favourite Canadian would be very hard to choose, seeing as most of the people I love the most live in this beautiful country.  My favourite famous Canadian would have to be, without a doubt, Margaret Atwood.

An Interview with Margaret Atwood

I was "assigned" her in History class, mainly because I believe Mo thought it would be funny to make me a feminist, and got hooked on her stories.  I don't think Mo created anything in me that wasn't there already but he might have given me an outlet to unleash it.  In those years since high school I've been an avid fan, even writing songs inspired by her writing.  This one is the longest song (8 minutes, two time signatures and several movements) and is named after a phrase in "Alias Grace".

Celebrated Murderess - Michelle Southern

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Fresh Shrimp of Malibu

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As a parent, I know what my reaction would be if I caught somebody raping my child.   It probably wouldn't be pretty.  I know that to defend my child and to stop somebody from harming them - I am willing to fight tooth and nail.   It would be part defense instinct and part vengeance.   I am a human and I am a mother - so I would do what I had to do. That is me though - not our criminal justice system.

First off, let me point out something that is blatantly obvious to me - the United States of America has a criminal JUSTICE system not a criminal vengeance or a criminal retribution system.   Our system of justice is supposed to be geared to rehabilitate offenders and if that is not possible - to lock them away from society.  In the case of a child rapist - I whole heartedly believe that they cannot be rehabilitated - so they should be removed from society and locked away.

Today, the Supreme Court addressed the case of a man that was convicted of raping his 12-year-old step daughter in Louisiana.   When the crime originally happened,the girl claimed that she had been in the garage sorting girl scout cookies when two boys came in and raped her. Almost two years later, she changed her story to say that it was her step-father.  Who knows how many therapists, prosecutors, police interviews and other involved parties were involved in the changing of the girl's testimony.  Lord knows if it is even true because shild testimony is easily manipulated and coached.  I think the fallibility of child testimony is one of the lagest issues I have with sentencing a person to death for the rape of a child.

This is such an incredibly emotional case and it amazes me that the SCOTUS had the ability to look at it analytically.  I think that if the death has to be used - it should be used at a reciprocal level.   There is no loss of life in a rape case so the taking of a life is not equal.

Personally - until there is 100% proof of guilt, the death penalty should never be applied.  Even a 1% chance of innocence is too much of a risk to take.

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There have been a few occassions where I have said to myself "You are now a woman"...The first time I came onto this revelation, I was twelve years old.  Suddenly I was experiencing what most women experience once a month... Hell and Torture.  I remember as a young girl, becoming very ill during this time.  Cramps, swelling, bloating, you get the picture.  But after a while, and my body adjusted to it's new state, these things did not bother me as much. 

Then there was the morning that I woke up and couldn't see my feet.  My chest had miraculously grown from PG to NC-17 overnight.  Again, I was still a child but I was starting to look like a woman and my first thought was "well what the hell do I do with these?"  Puberty was just awkward - at least it was awkward on the inside for me. 

By the time I got used to my body, in some capacity, I crossed another bridge in my life.  I had fallen in love for the first time and after some months of dating I decided it was time..and that thing called 'virginity' was a thing of the past.  At that moment I thought, "Now I am woman", even though I denied that I had given up my virginity for a couple of months that followed. I called it a "technical virginity" - because technically it was still there? I have no idea, I was 17, what did I know then.

I have crossed many bridges in my life, and as each year passes I feel as though I am wiser than I was the previous year.  I haven't felt the need to exclaim "I am a woman now" for a few years.  As a full fledged adult, working full time, doing my thing, owning my own things, I haven't felt that urge to make it apparent that I am woman, I know I am.  But recently, I have been contemplating uprooting my life, to some where new and exotic; a new phase of my life if you will, a fresh start.  I am thrilled to embark on this new journey, but at the same time, scared to death that I will miss the things that I have held near and dear to me.  Things that have become second nature to me. 

I feel that I have made so many strides in my life to get to where I am, to be the woman I have become and now, when I am presented with this opportunity, the little girl in me shows her face.  I know I need to just bite the bullet and do it.  Life is about taking risks and if things don't work out, it doesn't mean I'm stuck there forever. 

So here's to becoming a woman.  on her own.   

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Because of everything that's been going on, I've packed up my sewing machine and put away the stuff I had in my quilting studio.  I have bins and bins of beautiful, rich cotton fabrics that are now in storage.  I can hear my entire stash screaming, telling me that their colours won't wait for me to pull them out, and when fabric screams to you and you are a quilter... you hear it.

I didn't realize how much I missed making my quilts until the other night.  Smike and I were bored with what was on television so we were cruising the channels.  We settled on an episode of Penn and Teller's "BULLSHIT!" in which they debate the theory that pornography is harmful.

During this episode, they are showing various images from different porn films and commenting on how much fun it is for them to watch the boobies, etc.  Me?  I'm hoping they will get back to interviewing the gal with the flowchart, because she has a giant rainbow-hued quilt behind her and I can't decide if it's string-pieced or a pattern of some sort.

So basically, there are people fornicating right in front of me, and I am just waiting it out because I want to see the quilt.  Not likely to be a normal reaction from most folks.

Maybe it is true that porn doesn't cause adverse effects, but sewing fabric can sure make you an addicted quiltaholic.

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Jk livin'

Cole Hauser, the firecrotch guy with the NY accent in Dazed and Confused and some early Damon/Affleck flicks, was spotted recently at Howe's Market in Malibu. More specifically, he was Good Potato Salad Hunting in the deli section.

Hauser seemed to be having a D&C flashback as he mistook his shopping cart for a paddle and swatted it across my source's ass. Source turned around and Hauser looked mortified, having mistaken her for an incoming freshman and not a shopper trying to get her meat slices on.

Kinda hot for a firecrotch

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As I was searching men’s lingerie on the web while writing about Armani’s new line I found something really spicy.

Naughty-nun-jbs

JBS makes lingerie all men would love to wear. The campaign slogan is “Men do not want to look at naked men”. Instead of using men, hot men like David Beckham for Emporio Armani, JBS used partially nude super hot girl-models to promote their underwear line.

Naughty-secretary-jbs

The company made the right move. This is kind of commercial that anyone will remember right away and every guy would love to have a pair, and perhaps some girlfriends might pretend to steal them from their guys. Excellent ad! I’m sure guys prefer seeing sexy girls much more than seeing some stud with air-brushed package.

Naughty-nurse-jbs

It turned out to be:

super naughty, super provocative maxim-like shoot that borders on softcore porn. I doubt men will argue with JBS’ choice”

- says Bianka Bartz on trendhunter.com

Provocative ads include a secretary, nurse, maid and a naughty nun going dirty and smelling men’s underwear, basically behaving like men do.

Watch the super funny cool commercial with hot female model walking topless around her apartment wearing nothing but male briefs. She is behaving like some guys do, while she’s brushing her teeth, spitting, burping, taking a piss, eating breakfast with beer in front of the TV and farting. You’ve gotta watch it, its hilarious.

Beer-breakfast

Once again it’s proved - sex sells!

Take video here>>

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Something I've wondered about... Game show name tags. 

How are they made?  Are they done by an in-house person or are they sent out?  How long does it take to make one?  Wouldn't the staff have to know well in advance who will be on the show to make these things?

What about after the show?  This is what I wonder about the most.  Does someone come around and collect the name tags from the participants?  If so, are they recycled?  Does some other DAVE get to wear that name tag? 

Have you ever gone over to someone's house and seen a game show name tag on their dresser?  Did they get to keep it or was it smuggled out?  Was the name tag signed by the Very Famous Host?  Do these things ever show up on eBay?

Yes, I know.  I'm very, very deep.  I have world-changing ambitions, obviously, with probing thoughts like these.

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No burrito for you!

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